If I Act Afraid of My Veteran Parent
When I pull away or act afraid of my veteran parent, what I may be saying is, “I need time to get to know you again and to feel safe and at ease with you.” You can support me by…
If I Hesitate with My Injured Parent
When I hesitate to look at or talk to my injured parent or, I shy away from touching, hugging, or kissing my injured parent, I may be saying, “It’s been a long time. I need time to reconnect.” You can support…
When I Share I’m Missing My Parent
When I share that I am missing my deployed parent, I may be saying, “I need something to remind me of Daddy. It helps me feel safe and close to him.” You can help keep connections strong at home: bathe…
Ideas for Setting Limits
It might be helpful for you to know three easy steps in setting limits for me. (1) Stop the behavior. For example, firmly take my hand and tell me in a serious voice: “No hitting. Hitting hurts.” It is important…
If a Lot of Noise Makes Me Upset
When I cry and get fussy when there is a lot of noise and/or people around, I may be saying, “It is upsetting—hard for me to take in all of the changes.” You can support me by keeping my daily…
If I Peek, Look Away, then Peek Again
When I peek at my injured parent in the hospital bed, then look away, then peek again, what I may be saying is, “I’m starting to reconnect.” You can support me by giving me time. I will let you know…
When I Look Overwhelmed
I may be saying, “There is so much going on!” You can help me by keeping my routine the same, as much as you can. This will help me to know what comes next. Even if we aren’t at home,…
How I Learn to Regulate My Emotions
I am getting so big! Sometimes it might be hard to remember that I am still little, and still learning how to control my emotions. I need to learn how to regulate my emotions in order to follow rules and…
When I Look Sad or I’m Clingy
I may be saying, “I feel tension. Something is going on.” or “I’m trying to understand what’s going on and feel a little in control of my life.” You can help me by offering simple, clear words for what is…
When I Stare at Someone’s Scarred Face
When I stare at someone’s scarred face or prosthesis, what I may be saying is, “I’m trying to understand and learn about something that is new to me. I’m worried something like that might happen to me.” You can support…
When I Am Fussy or Won’t Stop Crying
I may be saying, “I am feeling out of sorts, off my routine.” Or I may be saying, “I feel tension in the house.” I may simply be saying, “My body is growing and changing and I am extra sensitive…
Help Me with New Rules and Limits
Age-appropriate rules let me know what to expect, which helps me to feel safe, secure, and in control. It is important that you set limits and are consistent in enforcing rules with me now. You can help me cope with…
When I Ask Where My Veteran Parent Is
I may be saying, “I’m trying to understand what is going on and feel a little control in my life.” Tell me in simple, clear words what is happening. Invite me to help do something like draw a picture for…
When I Ask a Question
What I may be saying is, “I’m curious. I’m ready for more information.” You can support me by answering in simple words I can understand. “That machine helps Mommy breathe.”
When I Hit or Bite
I may be saying, “Sometimes I’m angry,” or “I have so many feelings inside and no words for them that I lose control.” What you can do to support me is stop me firmly and gently. Tell me “It’s not…
When I Go Back to Earlier Behaviors
When I go back to earlier behaviors, such as wanting a bottle again after I have been drinking from a cup, or refusing to use the potty after I have been successful at potty training, I may be saying, “All…
