When I Hit or Bite
I may be saying, “Sometimes I’m angry,” or “I have so many feelings inside and no words for them that I lose control.” What you can do to support me is stop me firmly and gently. Tell me “It’s not…
If I Squirm, Cry, or Fuss at the Hospital
When I am in the hospital to visit my injured parent and I squirm, cry, or fuss, I may be saying, “I am hungry, tired, or I have been here too long and I need a break. The tension in…
When I Go Back to Earlier Behaviors
When I go back to earlier behaviors, such as wanting a bottle again after I have been drinking from a cup, or refusing to use the potty after I have been successful at potty training, what I may be saying…
If I Am Restless at the Hospital
When I am in the hospital to visit my injured parent and I am restless, or start to get into things, what I may be saying is, “This is a little space with too many rules. I’m tired of ‘be…
When Parent Reminders Make Me Sad
I may be saying that sometimes I need a break from thinking about the separation, and I have other things to think about and do. To support me, please understand that my need for “staying-connected” activities may change from day…
If I Hesitate with My Injured Parent
When I hesitate to look at or talk to my injured parent or, I shy away from touching, hugging, or kissing my injured parent, I may be saying, “It’s been a long time. I need time to reconnect.” You can support…
When I Act Like I Don’t Care
You may wonder about how I am feeling when I giggle, laugh, and play even though my parent is deployed. What I may be saying is, “Even though my Mom is gone, there is so much for me to see and do and…
If I Peek, Look Away, then Peek Again
When I peek at my injured parent in the hospital bed, then look away, then peek again, what I may be saying is, “I’m starting to reconnect.” You can support me by giving me time. I will let you know…
If I Act Afraid of My Returning Parent
When I cry, hesitate, pull away from/act afraid of my parent who has just come home, what I may be saying is, “I need time to get to know you again and to feel safe and at ease with you.”…
When I Stare at Someone’s Scarred Face
When I stare at someone’s scarred face or prosthesis, what I may be saying is, “I’m trying to understand and learn about something that is new to me. I’m worried something like that might happen to me.” You can support…
If a Lot of Noise Makes Me Upset
When I cry and get fussy when there is a lot of noise and/or people around, I may be saying, “It is upsetting—hard for me to take it all in.” You can support me by keeping my daily routines consistent.…
When I Ask a Question
What I may be saying is, “I’m curious. I’m ready for more information.” You can support me by answering in simple words I can understand. “That machine helps Mommy breathe.”
When I Look Confused
I may be saying, “What’s going on here?” You can support me, especially when you first leave military service and so much is changing, by telling me what is happening in clear and simple words. “Mommy is coming home and…
If I Get Upset When I Get a Boo-boo
When I get very upset when I fall or get a boo-boo, what I may be saying is, “I’m afraid my body is injured, too.” You can support me by being matter-of-fact. Reassure me that you will take care of…
If I Act Afraid of My Veteran Parent
When I pull away or act afraid of my veteran parent, what I may be saying is, “I need time to get to know you again and to feel safe and at ease with you.” You can support me by…
When I Play Pretend
What I may be saying is, “I am trying to figure out what is happening. I am trying to get a sense of some control over all that is going on.” You can support me by joining in my play.…
