It might be helpful for you to know three easy steps in setting limits for me. (1) Stop the behavior. For example, firmly take my hand and tell me in a serious voice: “No hitting. Hitting hurts.” It is important that you sound firm, but not angry. I learn best if I understand this is serious, but I am not afraid. (2) Help me label my feelings. You can help me understand that you know what I am feeling, and it will help me to calm down. “You are so angry that Paulo took your toy. It’s okay to feel angry. But you cannot hit. Hitting hurts.” Offer me an appropriate way to express my feelings. Show me what I can do, like jumping up and down, or stomping my foot. (3) Help me solve my problem. For example, help me go to Paulo and ask for the toy back. Use a kitchen timer to help me and Paulo learn to wait and take turns. It is important that you always think about how you are feeling when you are with me. Remember, how you are feeling will affect how I am feeling. When you are setting limits, the calmer you are, the easier it will be for me to be calm.
