If you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed or activated by my behavior, the best thing you can do is focus on calming yourself first. You can’t help me calm down if you aren’t calm. You may notice your heart racing, feel a pit in your stomach or even feeling like you want to yell or explode, and you don’t want to direct those big feelings towards me. You can go to the bathroom and splash cold water on your face, step outside to take deep breaths, get a drink of water, or say something aloud to ground yourself. You can even narrate your feelings aloud, which actually helps me learn to do the same. Reminding yourself that my behavior isn’t directed at you can be good too. Having a parent/caregiver who can manage their big feelings is really important for my development and our relationship.
