When I Share I’m Missing My Parent
When I share that I am missing my deployed parent, I may be saying, “I need something to remind me of Daddy. It helps me feel safe and close to him.” You can help keep connections strong at home: bathe…
When I Hit or Bite
I may be saying, “Sometimes I’m angry,” or “I have so many feelings inside and no words for them that I lose control.” What you can do to support me is stop me firmly and gently. Tell me “It’s not…
When Parent Reminders Make Me Sad
I may be saying that sometimes I need a break from thinking about the separation, and I have other things to think about and do. To support me, please understand that my need for “staying-connected” activities may change from day…
If a Lot of Noise Makes Me Upset
When I cry and get fussy when there is a lot of noise and/or people around, I may be saying, “It is upsetting—hard for me to take in all of the changes.” You can support me by keeping my daily…
When I Look Sad or I’m Clingy
I may be saying, “I feel tension. Something is going on.” or “I’m trying to understand what’s going on and feel a little in control of my life.” You can help me by offering simple, clear words for what is…
When I Ask Where My Veteran Parent Is
I may be saying, “I’m trying to understand what is going on and feel a little control in my life.” Tell me in simple, clear words what is happening. Invite me to help do something like draw a picture for…
When I Fuss When You Say Good-Bye
If I cry, kick, and scream when you leave me, even if it’s only for an hour and I’m with someone I know and like, I may be saying, “Life feels a little uncertain. I need you. I depend on you…
When I Throw a Tantrum
What I may be saying is, “I am frustrated! I want to do this, but I am not able,” or “I don’t know how to communicate what I am feeling to you.” Sometimes I might tantrum when I am tired…
If I Hesitate with My Injured Parent
When I hesitate to look at or talk to my injured parent or, I shy away from touching, hugging, or kissing my injured parent, I may be saying, “It’s been a long time. I need time to reconnect.” You can support…
If I Peek, Look Away, then Peek Again
When I peek at my injured parent in the hospital bed, then look away, then peek again, what I may be saying is, “I’m starting to reconnect.” You can support me by giving me time. I will let you know…
When I Stare at Someone’s Scarred Face
When I stare at someone’s scarred face or prosthesis, what I may be saying is, “I’m trying to understand and learn about something that is new to me. I’m worried something like that might happen to me.” You can support…
When I Ask a Question
What I may be saying is, “I’m curious. I’m ready for more information.” You can support me by answering in simple words I can understand. “That machine helps Mommy breathe.”
If I Get Upset When I Get a Boo-boo
When I get very upset when I fall or get a boo-boo, what I may be saying is, “I’m afraid my body is injured, too.” You can support me by being matter-of-fact. Reassure me that you will take care of…
When I Look Sad or I’m Clingy
I may be saying, “I miss my deployed parent, and it’s hard dealing with all of these changes.” You can support me by offering clear, simple words for what I may be feeling: “You look sad, are you missing Mommy?”…
If I Want to Help My Injured Parent
When I show interest, curiosity, or desire to help with caring for my injured parent, I may be saying, “I want to help. I like to feel confident and competent.” You can support me by giving me tasks I can…
How I Learn to Regulate My Emotions
I am growing and learning so many things so quickly! Yet, I am still so young. I still haven’t mastered the ability to control my emotions. That is something that began when I was born but will continue to develop…